i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
