He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
