the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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