You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
