I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
