I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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