So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
