i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
