My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
