Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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