I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
