Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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