Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
