So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
