i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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