Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
