moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dick very happy bro
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
