We need to rekindle our bromance
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Even my vagina gasped.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
