Sponge bath it is.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
