dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
