I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
