i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
