I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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