This girl is more easily done than said...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
