the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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