I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
