I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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