found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
