Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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