apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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