Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
