bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
