There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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