There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
