the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
