yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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