I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
