the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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