he wants to bone in the snuggie
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
