is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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