man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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