tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
