I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wish there were birth control emojis
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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