this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
