My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
