I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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