We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
