That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
