he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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