Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
